It’s Okay, Folks — Ted Cruz Already Announced his Retirement Weeks Ago
Ted Cruz did not have a good week.
In the midst of a disaster gripping his home state (a situation you can help alleviate by donating here or here or here or here or here, or hell, by just streaming the good homie Anna Akana’s new album), the junior senator from the Lone Star State was captured on a plane bound for Cancun. Criticisms of Cruz taking an international vacation while his constituents were quite literally freezing to death write themselves, to say nothing of that whole “wall” business. And while a few people came to Cruz’ defense, arguing that there wasn’t anything he realistically could’ve done — a narrative that eternal GOP bugbear Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez neatly dismantled — the nearly-universal condemnations were swift, brutal, and largely justified.
(Except for Jimmy Kimmel’s. I’m sorry, but one of the highest tenets of Pickup Basketball Law is that if someone beats you one-on-one, you are indefinitely barred from talking trash about them in any context until you have reclaimed your honor. Pickup Basketball Law is absolute, it is unbiased, and it is unyielding.)
Predictably, Cruz’ misstep has led to calls for his resignation from the Senate, which, let’s face it, is not going to happen. If he wasn’t going to step down after the coup attempt on January 6th, he won’t step down over this. And besides, just because something is a bad look doesn’t make it illegal.
(If you think that’s a set-up for a slam on his beard, you’re wrong. I genuinely think it’s working for him.)
But more to the point, calls for Cruz’ resignation are wrong-footed because he already announced that he’s going to leave the Senate weeks ago. It’s wild for someone who isn’t a journalist to be breaking news as opposed to reacting to it, but if you don’t know, now you know: Ted Cruz will not be running for reelection to the US Senate in 2024. And it’s not because he’s going to be running for President; though he will almost certainly try, and almost certainly fail.
It’s because of this.