A begrudging recognition from a totally-unbiased Bulls fan.

I’ve never been prepared to hatewatch a movie more than Space Jam: A New Legacy, for reasons that have everything to do with a fanatical devotion to Michael Jordan and the 90s Chicago Bulls and literally nothing else. Seeing LeBron James in any position that implies an equivalence with Jordan (which is objectively a fair argument, and subjectively blasphemy) gets my blood boiling.*

But after catching the trailer after it dropped this morning, and for the most part the movie looks OK enough if a bit noisy, I found myself briefly and begrudgingly blown away by a shot towards the…

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I'm glad you liked it! And to be honest, I kind of just forgot about the music after a while; I remember thinking at first that the score overall was better than the original cut, but aside from a few scenes here and there (specifically Barry's big moment at the end), it kind of blurred together. Four hours is a lot.

But the one thing that I do remember hating was the wail that showed almost every time Diana did anything, including the bomb scene. It was so jarring and so repetitive, especially considering that her original theme from BvS is probably the most iconic theme from the entire franchise. Definitely a change for the worse.

So much for cancel culture run amok, eh?

Pictured: the actual worst thing that has ever happened.

The gall of some people.

Less than two weeks after the American empire* was nearly brought to its knees not by a lethal virus, nor by draconian restrictions on voting rights, nor by the triumphant return of its national pre-pandemic pastime of mass shootings, but by a couple of women rapping about getting their freak all the way on at the Grammys, the nation was rocked again by a provocative musician with no absolutely no regard for the fragility of the land he calls home.

Yes, ’tis Lil Nas X, known for singing “Old Town Road” and literally no other…

The former officer’s defense of his actions the night George Floyd was killed is a staggering self-own of policing in America.

One of the first things that gets drilled into you right away in law school is that in our adversarial system, everyone accused of a crime — everyone — is entitled to a strong defense. It doesn’t matter how serious the crime is, it doesn’t matter how evident their guilt may be, it doesn’t matter how unrepentant they might be behind closed doors. Everyone gets a shot at proving their innocence, even if, in the long view of things, they don’t appear to deserve it. …

He is truly concerned about a very serious problem facing America.

GLADSTONE, MO — Local sports fan Coby Eiling loudly applauded the advancing wave of legislation across the country banning trans athletes from participating in girls’ and women’s sports, which he steadfastly refuses to watch because he isn’t a goddamn pussy.

“Women’s sports are important,” Eiling said, who earlier this month commented “she should shut up and get back in the kitchen” under a video of Candace Parker explaining modern NBA offenses to Shaquille O’Neal. …

The long-anticipated recut of Justice League is easily better than the original release. Whether it’s good enough to justify its own existence is less clear.

“I want it to be good, because that’s how the story is supposed to end.”

To most of the general population, the word “Yahtzee” conjures up a board game that you turn to when your party guests are too young for Cards Against Humanity, not nerdy enough for Settlers of Catan, and too prone to violent meltdowns for Monopoly. For capital-G gamers, however, it’s the moniker of one of the most hilariously vicious reviewers in the industry, Benjamin “Yahtzee” Croshaw of Zero Punctuation fame. If there’s a popular video game that you enjoy, odds are that Yahtzee has reviewed it…

Another film reboot of comics’ greatest hero offers a golden opportunity to definitively reimagine his greatest rival.

Dear Mr. Coates,

1.) Hi! First of all, I’m a big fan. Have been for years. You probably wouldn’t remember this, but we’ve actually met before, shortly after you published “The Case for Reparations” in The Atlantic. You gave a talk at the University of Chicago, and we briefly chatted a bit afterwards. Well, you chatted, I mostly stammered. ’Twas a good night. I loved The Water Dancer and Between the World and Me, although I still haven’t seen the HBO film. Don’t worry, it’s on the backlog and I’ll get to it eventually. Law school and all that. …

This Is Us

Why participation trophies matter to godless millennials like me

My childhood bedroom is, in the way that all childhood bedrooms are, uniquely unspectacular. There’s the perpetually unmade bed, surrounded by pictures and ticket stubs finely coated in dusty nostalgia. There’s the framed poster of the only NBA Big Three I’ll ever acknowledge, and the watercolor painting of Captain America wearing nothing but a helmet and a strategically-placed mighty shield (which still might be the best thirty bucks I’ve ever spent in my life). There are game cartridges, action figures, and books; gods above, there are the books.

And then there are the trophies.

Some of these memorialize genuine triumphs…


Ted Cruz did not have a good week.

In the midst of a disaster gripping his home state (a situation you can help alleviate by donating here or here or here or here or here, or hell, by just streaming the good homie Anna Akana’s new album), the junior senator from the Lone Star State was captured on a plane bound for Cancun. Criticisms of Cruz taking an international vacation while his constituents were quite literally freezing to death write themselves, to say nothing of that whole “wall” business. …

Don’t you do it, CW.

(Cartoon Network)

The news that The CW ordered a pilot for a live-action Powerpuff Girls remake/reboot is a little heartbreaking — more for the content of the pitch than the pitch itself. When I think about the original cartoon, from the characters to the colors to the writing, the first word that comes to mind is “joy.” It could certainly be sad or even a little scary sometimes, but more than anything, there was a sense of unadulterated fun threaded throughout the entire show. …

Mickey Desruisseaux

Writer. Nerd. Shithole-American. A monster of many words trying to be a man of all of them.

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